Depression Is A Wave

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How to Describe Depression?


Depression doesn’t look for gender, race, wealth, fame…Some people have it worse than others. Latest famous victim is Anthony Bourdain. For me that was a big loss. I didn’t know him in real life, but I used to watch his show on television. He was like an old friend. He made you feel comfortable and relaxed. I always enjoined his company. When I was living alone, I ate numerous of meals with Anthony Bourdain in front of TV. We are looking for an easy answers to the suicide. It surely was the drugs and alcohol? Nope, those are symptoms. There is usually a reason why person starts to take drugs and alcohol. You couldn’t tell that he had mental issues? How so?

Depression Is a Wave

My short story: I’ve been depressed for over 20 years. I will never be cured. For me that is the biggest help you can get, to accept it. There are days when everything is fine. My depression launched when I was in high school. I was heavily bullied. Worst symptoms began after those years. It’s really hard to explain depression. But let’s try:

Depression comes in waves. One day you are having the time of your life on the beach. Others won’t see it, but you’ll always have that fear of a new wave coming, back of your mind. It’s a dark passenger, an invisible claimant. Wave is ready to swallow you anytime. Sometimes you’ll survive from the wave. Each wave weakens you. You can stay afloat and eventually get back to the shore. Waves can be good too. When the big wave hits you, you’ll know after surviving, that it will leave you alone for a while. But you’ll have to prepare for the next one. Make sure you are strong enough, when it happens.

Theo Fleury’s – How to Heal from Trauma video should be watched by every living organism on the planet earth:

That’s exactly how I feel. I didn’t went trough the same experience, but I can related to the symptoms. I’ve seen bad dreams for over 20 years every night. In each dream I’m a failure. Each day is a battle, each night is a battle. For an outsider my life seems great. I have a work, have a nice house, have a family….Everything seems great on surface.

Each day, you’ll keep running away from that wave. Burying yourself with work, hobbies, music…Keep yourself occupied, all the time. Everyday. That’s how I still do it. I keep running. That why I keep sharing my story.

My Advice

There is only one advice I can give. Be kind to others…Always! That’s the best thing you can do to prevent suicides and depression. Of course it doesn’t wipe all the problems, but that’s a great start, and it’s easy. Person next to you is not your enemy. Be kind!


My Book

bullying bookI wrote a book about bullying, and how it affects and why we should be kind to others. After the book was finished, I just wanted to yell: “IT’S ALL HERE, JUST F*CKING READ IT!”. That’s not an effective marketing strategy, but really read it, and make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Book is available on major ebook stores. Amazon, Apple, Google play. Book is called: “How Bruce Springsteen’s Music Saved My Life: The Story of a Bullied Boy”

All the proceeds from this book goes to my solar panel fund. Every time I would look at our roof, I would think about writing this book. It would keep us warm when it’s cold outside. It’s not a bad goal if you ask me.

Best regards


PS. This blog post is not proofread. English is not my native language. Book however is proofread!

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